Roommates - Concert

"Sickest! Concert! Ever!" Steve's voice was nearly lost from singing along as hard as he did. 

"Dude, you know it! My ears are ringing! Haha!" Mike yelled over the noise of the dissipating crowd and cradling a signed album in his hands. Mike and Steve walked out to the parking lot with grins that quickly faded as they sprinted towards a group of pirates pushing their car onto the deck of their ship. Both boys wrapped his arms over their most precious belonging. Mike yelled at the criminals who were taking what wasn't theirs.

"No-no-no-no-no-no-no! This is mine! Y'all step off!" The pirates grumbled and laughed at the two. All of them yelled back and forth until one man stepped in and fired a shot into the air. Not a soul spoke a word. The man who fired the shot sauntered to face Mike, who was causing more trouble than Steve on account of he was the one making payments on the car, and that his voice wasn't nearly spent.

"Are you the cause of all this nonsense!?" 

"Aye, sir." Mike answered in the best way he could think in the given situation.

"For what purpose, young swab?" 

"Cap'n orders...sir." Steve interjected with his hoarse voice. The man, still holding a smoking pistol, turned a confused looking face to the one who spoke out of turn, and asked a single question giving his words slowly.

"What "Cap'n" do ye mean?" Steve stammered slightly as the man's face came closer to his own. 

"W-why, Captain Jack...Sparrow!" Mike put his palm his his face at Steve's last word which also triggered the crew to break into laughter. 

"Quiet! Do ye know the face ye be looking' into, boy?" Steve was dumbstruck with the realization of his folly. Mike recovered the fault of his friend.

"Please forgive Steve here, he's an idiot." Steve furrowed his brow but kept his mouth shut knowing Mike was his savior. "He meant the captain Laughing Jack, certainly you've uh known him to make mention of his sparrow, traumatized Steve-o here ya see." Mike was amazed at the perfect explanation he gave to a pirate captain. Sparrow began walking back to his ship as he apologized.

"Beg your pardon sirs. Gents, hand over their shiny cart. You'd best be on your way Steve and, forgive my lack of knowing your acquaintance." Mike smiled at the captain blankly until he realized the captain was asking for his name. 

"Mike." 

"A token of my apology." Captain Jack Sparrow dropped two cutlasses into the sand where he beached the Black Pearl and began barking orders to his crew to get the ship moving on water once again. Mike and Steve looked at each other for a moment. They spoke simultaneously to each other.

"That just happened?" They didn't answer each other. They watched as the Pearl took to the sea. Steve broke the silence as he went over the event in his head. 

"Who the freak is Laughing Jack?" Mike turned to face Steve.

"Don't say his name!"

"Why? Is he like Bloody Mary and he's gonna pop up outta nowhere?" 

"Look, it's not a joke. You saw that Sparrow knows him, and is afraid of him! I honestly didn't think he was real either until that got the car back." 

"Dude we just conned Jack Sparrow! We're untouchable! Haha what is he anyway?" Steve laughed with the feeling of invulnerability. 

"C'mon let's go. I'll tell ya in the car." 

"Hold on man! We got souvenirs from Jack Sparrow!" Steve took the swords and got in the passenger seat. Mike was shaken from the experience while Steve was ecstatic. "Dude lookit this thing!" Steve was staring at the sword he called dibs to. "It's got chips and scratches all over, I bet this baby's seen combat. Dude! Is that blood!?" Steve pushed the blade into Mike's view. 

"Are ya dumb or just stupid!? I'm driving!"

"Sorry geez...hey! Who's Laughing Jack?" 

"Alright fair enough. Ya know Jack Skelton from Nightmare Before Christmas?"

"Of course." 

"Well I hear that Tim Burton took pirate Jack and-"

"Why don't ya say Laugh-"

"Sh! I'm getting there. Anyway, Jack Skelton is the nice, hero version of the other. He's not the most well-known pirate legend, mostly 'cause he's Irish, not from the Caribbean where Blackbeard and all these other famous people are from. Freak! I didn't even know Sparrow was real! Anyway, Jack was actually the first captain of the Black Pearl, funny with the name thing, huh? He also used a whip when commanding his crew. That's where his chant came from "Hatched black, whip crack." He drove his crew so harshly that he was cursed to live forever as a skeleton. Good grief, what is that smell?"

"It's the lake, it always has a smell after a storm. You were getting to the good part."

"Right, so he was a skeleton and what's a captain with no crew? Well nothing, so he roams around finding more people to join his crew by using cursed treasure that gives the person the same curse. That, or people say you say his name followed by the chant."

"Ya say it, then he pops up outta nowhere?" 

"I dunno, somethin' like that." Mike and Steve hit their heads on the roof of the car as they hit a sudden sharp bump in the road. "Son of a- what was that!?" Mike yelled in pain as he held his head. The headlights illuminated a massive tentacle whose suction cups slapped the hood of the car, stopping them violently. Steve shook himself from the blast of the airbag and pulled Mike by the shoulder with the hand that was free of a pair of swords. Mike watched in horror as the tentacle tore his car from the road. Mike took a sword from Steve's hand and charged at the giant, powerful, waterborne muscle. He gave it a single hack and the blade was lodged in its flesh. Mike was forced to let go as it released the car and whipped into the sky. Mike stared at the damage in awe. The tentacle writhed in the air then was pulled backwards by a harpoon that came from somewhere out in the lake. Steve peered into the raging waters to see an old looking submarine had fired the harpoon. More tentacles appeared and wrapped around the submarine. One tentacle flung a chest upon the shore before it took hold of the sorry craft. The beast and underwater boat disappeared under the surface of the water. Mike and Steve looked at what had happened in shock and awe. 

"I wonder if tonight will have a lot of amazing things happen." Steve broke the second amazed silence.

"Amazing isn't the word I'd use for when my car just freaking got totaled by a squid!" Mike wasn't having the same feeling as his friend. "Oh!" Mike ran over to the car and pryed open the passenger door. He looked around to see that his newly purchased CD was still intact and let out a sigh of relief. Mike put the disc into his jacket pocket, closed the door, and shook his head as he saw the shattered window fall in. He wondered if his insurance would cover this kind of damage. 

Meanwhile Steve was looking at the chest which was flung onto the land by the squid. It had a lock on it that appeared to be hardier than any padlock he'd seen before. The wood looked waterlogged so he stomped on the latch and it came apart. The noise attracted Mike. A smile returned to Mike when he saw a box full of priceless treasure. Both of them pulled out item after beautiful item. It seemed to have been collected from all over the globe. There was coins from all over Europe, even old Greek tokens, Aztec jewelry of all kinds, Chinese jade figurines, and various jewels. A golden four leafed clover with emerald leaves caught Steve's eyes perticularly. It had writing on it that he read aloud. 

"Laughing Jack, hatched black, whip crack. Huh." Mike stared into the face of an imbecile. 

"So you realize we're screwed, right?" Steve's look of wonder faded when he realized what he just did. They heard a faint song they couldn't make out words to. As it became clearer they realized it was an old Irish tune, which they only caught the last few words to.

"...with the loud array that joined me in the fray soon we cleared the way on the rocky road to Dublin one-two-three-four-five! Hunt the hare and turn her down the rocky road all the way to Dublin whack-fol-la-de-da!" The loud sound of drums rolled in from the seas and they could clearly make out a flute and a guitar that joined in for one more round of the chorus. "One-two-three-four-five! Hunt the hare and turn her down the rocky road and all the way to Dublin whack-fol-la-de-daaaaaaaa! Hey!" A ship that greatly resembled the black pearl they saw earlier, but adorned with skulls and bones, appeared on the shore with a crew of bleach white skeletons aboard. One who had a long coat, a three-cornered hat, and a whip in hand jumped from the bow to land, cackled maniacally, and cracked the whip which then held the golden clover. Steve's empty hand was unscathed and he marveled at it. 

"I believe ye have somethin' of my belongings." The tall skeleton walked over with his heavy boots thumping on the ground. Empty sockets stared into Steve's wide eyes. Steve felt breath fall in his face when the skeleton barked at him again. "Didn't your mother ever tell ye not ter take the belongings of others!?...well!?...what ye did wasn't just ye know that!?" Steve sis nothing but stand dumbstruck. Jack cackled again and walked over to Mike. "Does your mate only speak when he reads curses upon gold?" Mike was scared stiff, but thought making a joke might give them better chances.

"There's days that I wish that." Jack laughed heartily and even put his hand on Mike's shoulder to stabilize himself. 

"Boy, you're a clever one. What's your name?" 

"Mike." Mike answered with fear still in his voice. 

"Mike, I find ye to be a good lad. Care to come aboard? Just for a chat." Jack's voice almost seemed pleasant and very hospitable now.

"What about Steve?"

"Ah him, let's see his view shall we?" Jack cackled again as he came to stand in front of Steve again. "Boy, you got yourself a name?" Steve stammered under his fear and guilt. 

"St-Steve, sir." If bones were supple enough to bend, Jack would be wearing an amused grin by now. 

"I thank ye for your manners, sir Steve. If only ye had them before takin' me gold." Jack laughed at the joke he made that didn't make Mike or Steve feel any more relaxed. "Come now, gents, we don't bite." Jack chuckled at his own humor again. Mike and Steve walked up a ramp that was put up for them. Jack simply jumped from the shore to the deck. A skeleton of a sparrow fluttered in front of the boy's heads. Jack sat at a table that was made ready for three. The sparrow landed on his scapula. The table was covered in food, mostly corned beef, cabbage, and potatoes.  Mike and Steve sat in the remaining two chairs and looked at Jack for his next orders. "Come now, you must be starved. Now would ye care for sixteen o' three merlot or be ye teetotalers?" Steve had a politely confused look on his face that he showed to Jack while cutting off a portion of corned beef. Jack cackled at their oblivious faces and explained himself further. "Do ye desire somethin' to wash away your troubles or just cider?" Both of them answered in unison. 

"Cider would be great." Jack popped a joint in one of his hands to signal another skeleton to fetch a drink for them. Mike and Steve looked at an absent setting for Jack himself.

"A meal such as this would do no good to a man with no gullet. Feel free to take it in, gents." Jack seemed too kind for any skeleton. Mike and Steve dug into the steaming food, gulped down water from provided goblets, the cider came and they thanked its bearer who poured it generously. Steve stopped eating suddenly as he feared it was poisoned. Jack calmed him. "What good would it do me to kill ye now, boy?" Steve looked at him with confusion. Jack's sparrow chirped in a shrill voice."Hush, wee one. Oh, you mean all those legends of me? Some be true, but it amazes me how time can change a man." Steve put potatoes back in his mouth. "Aye, centuries of sailin' as a dead man will change a dead man. I first was furious. My crew and I made mighty good pillagin' those days. No man, monster, or demon could stop our wake. That's what we thought until...Cromwell! What's the word they gave us near the southeast corner of the globe?" One member of the bleached bone crew leaned in and gave one word.

"Karma?"

"Aye! Karma! We were cursed to roam the seas 'til judgement day when the trumpets sound. We were to be a standing warning not to take more your share, so to speak. For the first century, or so, I sailed in fury of the curse t'was granted me. Time taught me that dealin' pain only gives pain, for the both of ye. I now don't know what to do on the seas no longer. Yes I know this ain't the seas, but a lake of salt. It's my curse. I'd rather leave a man in better fortunes than I found him. I see you had an encounter with a squid taken by demons. Where is it ye were headin'? I'll take ye there." Mike and Steve looked at Jack, each other, then back to Jack in unbelief.

"Just like that?" Mike spoke in surprise.

"Just like that, mate." Jack answered cooly. Mike and Steve paused for a moment, still being perplexed with the scenario. 

"Up north a bit. Where the causeway meets the island." Steve directed. 

"Aye, that way. Raise the mooring lines! Make way for north northeast! On it now!" Jack commanded his crew with a crack of his whip to emphasize. The ship took off faster than thought possible. There was no wind, save the wind that went through the hair Mike and Steve, and around the bones of the crew. Within less than a minute they arrived where the lake came near to their home. Jack kicked down a ramp and held his hand like a butler to point the way. Mike and Steve walked down and met the sand.

"Oy! I believe I owe ya for your troubles!" Jack tossed down the chest they pulled the golden clover from. As quick as the ship came, it vanished. They couldn't tell if it faded or darted away. They do remember hearing Jack's laughter fade away as it left. Mike and Steve took hold of the heavy chest together and walked back to their apartment. Mike checked an was glad to know his CD was intact. Steve made sure to keep his cutlass as well. It amazed them that there wasn't any trouble at all on their way home. When they came to the apartment Mike plunged his hand into a horrifying empty pocket. He realized the keys were in the car that was trashed by the squid. 

"The freak!?" Steve shouted in frustration as he stared into an empty chest. "That 'tard gave us leprechaun gold!" 

Beginning II - Tales of Jacob Moran

         Jacob stammered as he was assaulted with the realization of what had been going on for the past few hours.
         "I saw your face in the!- but it's my face!- and you!- me...in the box! In the dirt! And I!...wha-what's going on!?"
         "Chillax, sit down. Wait, you wanna put in some clothes first? Or you wanna chill in a towel?" Thomas answered. Jacob stood blank-faced and clueless for a moment.
         "Get some clothes on." Thomas ordered him to be decent. Jacob obliged and came back wearing the clothes that were provided in the bathroom, and sat in a char opposite where Thomas was sitting. Thomas resumed the conversation.
         "Where were we? Right, what's going on...uh what do you wanna know? Honestly, I don't really know where to start."
         "Who are you?"
         "Who am I?...Hold on, I gotta explain a lot more before I get there. Uhhh, this is gonna sound like such garbage to you right now. So you know the four elements, right?"
         "Ya mean like fire, water, earth, wind?"
         "Pretty much, well, each of these need to be governed. They aren't governed here, on Earth. That is done on a separate plane. A place where the four are more separated into lands. The two energies, Fire and Storm, and the two substances, Water and Earth.-"
         "Dude, I-...what does that have to do with me talking to a myself in a chair after I woke up in a box in a field?...in the snow."
         "Most straight forward answer I can give is you were conscripted into a war, but right now you need to get back up to speed. Seriously, just listen-"
         "Taha, right, m'kay, so a while ago I didn't care what's up 'cuz I was too tired to think. Now I'm awake and, dude, what, what is this really? I mean really, you can't expect me to take this fantasy whatever. What's up?"
         "'Kay, dude, I know this sounds fake, but try explaining why you're all the sudden ripped, and why am I you?" Jacob sat and thought for a while. There was no rational explanation for these two facts.
         "Geez, I don't know...but what does that have to do with the elements?...a war? I- what do you mean?" the door of the apartment opened and a girl with a streak of white hair on the side of her scalp walked in carrying a large sack of fast food.
               Jacob! Nice to meet you, I'm Alice."
         "Uh, hi, Alice...what's buried? Wait! No...I'm-can we slow down          "I'm a sentinel, both of you-"
         "Alice, he has no idea what's happened, and definitely no clue of what a sentinel is."
         "Oh..." Alice realized she was confusing Jacob only further ever since she opened the door. Jacob was looking at both of them blankly, he saw the bag of Carl's Jr. in Alice's hand and immediately felt a hunger as if he hadn't eaten in days.
         "I bet you are!" Alice replied and opened the bag "Guac' burger?"
         "Freak yeah." Jacob answered with an open hand. Alice distributed the food, in a tense silence. Once Jacob had a taste he had no care about sentinels, wars, the elements or anything. Eating was bliss. Once Jacob had finished the hamburger, which he did quickly, he sat thinking, more rationally, about the war Thomas mentioned.
         "Okay so about this...war. What's it all about?" Thomas started where he left off.
         "So back to the four lands, kingdoms, well, never mind, they're kingdoms. Let's keep it simple for now. So these four kingdoms govern so things are kept in order, and everything keeps ticking.. There have been wars in the past, but right now there hasn't been any battles or combat, but the Fire Kingdom has walled themselves in. They aren't speaking to anyone. We sent messengers, but they never came back. Everyone is building armies and defenses on the other side. So what we are doing on this side is developing a special forces team, so to speak."
         "Hold on, why is the Fire Kingdom even doing this?" Jacob interrupted for a question.
         "Honestly it's just in their nature. Fire always wants to claim all it can. If you were to psych-test any of us, we'd be told we all have some mental disorder. Fire craves anything it can get, really passionate about anything they do.. Storms are impulsive, normally can't predict what's going on in their head, and, like Fire, are passionate about what they do. Sometimes they act before they think. You kinda saw that when I came in and assumed you already knew everything, sorry. Stone and Metal are very passive. They let a lot of things just happen, but they think a lot, really calculated. Water can be peaceful or go nuts, depends what's going on around them. The closer one of us is tied to our element, the more it affects their head." Alice answered Jacob's question, which lead to another question.
         "So if it's in their nature then...isn't that pretty messed up? To just be chillin' with a bunch of people who just wanna go to war all the time?"
         "Of course there have been measures taken, inflammability treaties, permanent defenses. It's a necessary evil. Living things need heat, so we can't just snuff fire out, but can't enslave them either or there will be more rebellion than there is. They do have their own kingdom, in equal size as the other nations, but we all have to do things so they don't burn us. I'm just glad I'm not an ember. They're practically oppressed just so they aren't such a great threat." Alice answered again, which lead to another question.
         "Inflamability treaties? Wait, do I want to know?"
         "Yeah you do, the kingdoms, practically write the laws of the world. A lot of it doesn't make sense when ya try to think about it but most materials used to be flammable." Thomas began to answer.
         "Whaaat!?"
         "Yeah, pretty crazy, but there's other a lot of other laws and- nevermind, back to the war. Fire just boxed themselves in. We know they aren't up to any good so we're getting ready. One other thing about the other side is that a person there isn't really human. They look it, talk it, and everything, but they are bound to their element. If they cross into another land they, like, thirst for their own element, and get overwhelmed by the one they walked into. This is where we come in. A more human body like what Alice and I now have, you more so, can cross lands, because it's made of all of them. Alice is what ya call a sentinel. She has been watching Earth on this side firsthand for decades, ya following me? This is where it get even weirder."
         "...Sure" Jacob still felt like he was being told a fairytale but was going on with it because nothing made sense.
         "Alice wasn't born on earth. She crossed from the other side like I did. Our bodies are elementally bound, just like a person on the other side, but if we live on this side and become more balanced, we can cross the borders of the other lands. Thing is, we're still affected by crossing borders, just, we can handle it now. A body like yours can cross without a problem, although yeah, your body is different now. That is because you're now able to be bound to storms. Your element is Storm, and not just a portion like Alice."
         "Which portion are you?" Jacob asked Alice.
         "Lighting, hence the white." Alice touched her scalp where the white streak of hair grew. "Funny things happen when you get closer to your element.
         "So what are you?" Jacob turned the question to Thomas.
         "Unearthly metals. Long story short, not all things are accepted." Thomas answered.
         "What are unearthly metals?" Jacob asked.
         "This one, called Blaque." Thomas took a perfectly smooth black metal rod from his pocket. "It's an interesting one. There's that and another that is really reactive and, well, as soon and you have some it explodes. Anyway, where were we?
         "Who you are."
         "Right, um...what do remember happening just before you were in the field in the snow?"
         "I was...feels like a dream, I was taking fritz back to his house. I saw some headlights. Everything spun, then...I was in the box...did I, did I die?"
         "Yeah, not really another way to say it, yeah. So the reason why you died was because to get a person with a elementally bound human body, ya need a human body. So what's happening is we're building a force, called the legion, to go past the walls the Fire Kingdom put up and either negotiate or, start the first battle and be able to get out. Now, ya can't just take a human body and make it a bound human body. Ya gotta take the soul, or spirit, essence, or whatever ya wanna call it, of a elementally bound person, like Alice." Thomas paused for a moment in hope that Jacob understood what he said and put the pieces together. Jacob broke the silence.
         "So you are...who?" Thomas didn't have the will to tell Jacob what had happened straight to his face. Alice answered the question bluntly.
         "When you died, you were on the other side for five years. You don't remember this because, like Thomas said, the essence of an elementally bound person is in your body now, and you are now in an elementally bound body, who is Thomas."
         "WHAT!? BULL! There ain't no way- No! That's just- that just ain't right. I'm dreaming! I'm gonna go to sleep, and wake up, and be back home, and out of this psycho dream." Jacob shouted as he got up and walked to a bedroom and put himself face down in a bed. He was completely wide awake, and hardly able to keep his eyes shut. Alice and Thomas came into the room. Thomas attempted to reassure Jacob.
         "Dude, I know this is way messed-" Jacob interrupted him with his face pressed into a pillow.
         "Messed up is right! Freak! This can't be real."
         "Yeah it's really-"
         "'Kay, if I am some other dude in my body, why don't I just remember being that dude?" Jacob rolled over by now. Alice took a turn to explain.
         "Your body is holding on to what you remembered as Jacob."
         "What I remembered as Jacob, as if I- I am Jacob! Jacob Tyler Moran! But everybody calls me Jake. Why...are you sure I am this other guy? Who am I if I'm not me?" Alice and Thomas answered in unison
         "We don't know." Jacob stared at both of them skeptically for a short time, then spoke.
         "Seriously?" Alice continued to explain.
         "It's for your safety. All legionaries are important people. The Fire Kingdom thinks some are more valuable than others and would reward sentinels for handing them over."
         "Fire Kingdom and all these elements...so wait wait, so what, are sentinels and legionaries like magicians or something? Ha, lemme see a trick." Thomas took the smooth black metal rod out again. He held it in his in his open palm.
         "I've only had a few years practice at this." Jacob rolled his eyes. Thomas looked at the rod intently. The rod suddenly burst into a radical, pointed, blossom-like shape. A few points of the blossom pricked his hand and Thomas dropped it on the floor and looked at his hand where there were a small number of bloody pinpricks showing up.
         "Gah, yeah I knew somethin' like that was gonna happen." Jacob stared at the black blossom in amazement. He couldn't think of anything that could change shape so radically as fast as it did. Alice put out a hand and let lightning dance between her fingers. The light was nearly blinding. She held out her other hand and a small bolt jumped between them with a flash and an ear-ringing clap.
         "Ya know, you should really warn someone before ya make it crack like that." Thomas said with a hand on one ear while blinking his eyes.
         "Sorry, he wanted proof." Alice apologized. Jacob also commented while holding his ringing ears and blinking.
         "I was pretty convinced that I was dreaming when I saw his black magic steel, but I never had my ears ringing with pain in a dream before." Alice apologized again.
         "I'm sorry, I was just making a point." Thomas had a retort for Alice.
         "You were having too much fun just to make a point. So, Jake, what are ya thinkin'?"
         "I really don't know. This is way too weird for reality, but way to real for a dream."

Roommates - Milk

       Mike poured out Honey Nut Cheerios and smiled as the bowl chimed as it was filled. He opened the refrigerator and pushed aside the items he didn't care for in search of what would complete a lazy Saturday's breakfast.
       "Dude, where's the milk?" Mike asked as he shut the door.
       "Oh, I was kinda hungry before I fell asleep and drank it, sorry bro." Steve answered 
       "Well, at least lemme know before I pour out a bowl, this is just depressing." 
       "Dude it's all good, let's just get in the car and get some, we need other crap anyway right?"
       "Yeah. Keys, keys, keys...Keys! Got 'em!"  
       Mike and Steve headed out to the car. When mike turned the key nothing happened at all.
       "Seriously!?" Mike exclaimed as he slapped the steering wheel.
       "Looks like we're takin' this adventure by foot, let's go" Steve strived for optimism. Trotting down the road Mike was texting Amanda to vent his frustrations of his car's inactivity. Steve suddenly stopped.
       "Man! Frickin' zombies!" Steve pointed out how the road was blocked with over a hundred walking corpses. 
       "Dude I got this" Mike rubbed dirt onto his clothes and ripped his shirt. He then limped forward with his jaw agape and arms raised and bent unnaturally, all the while letting out a depressed groan. Steve shook his head and hesitated for a moment as he saw his friend shamble out among the dead. He saw that the zombies paid the same amount of attention to Mike as they did to the other gouls. Steve followed suit and degraded his appearance, then wobbled out to follow Mike. He was amazed at what was happening. Not a single souless body cared he was even there. Steve was suddenly struck in the back by another body. He whipped around to see it was Mike. Steve glared at him. Mike smiled and gagged out two nearly unintelligible words. 
       "Stay cool." So he did. Both of them gimped across the last block of the street which was infested with the undead.  Though they walked through the valley of the shadow of death, they feared no evil. They had nothing to fear until one zombie that not only had both its eyes, but a set that was still good, saw through their disguise then lunged and snapped at Mike. Mike panicked and jolted away to keep his distance. He watched as the thing still had full intention of biting into his flesh, until its brains came out the side of its skull accompanied by a loud crack. Steve stood with a pistol in in his hands. 
       "What!? How didjoo? Where?-" Mike stammered until he was inturrepted by the answer he sought. 
       "Dude, there's always guns wherever zombies are. It's like smoke and fire!" Steve stood with a triumphant smile until he saw the rest of the horde turning and moving toward them because of the sound of the gun. Mike took a nearby AK47 into his hands, took and and let loose a burst of rounds into the head of a near zombie. Mike took aim again and was rewarded with a discouraging click. 
       "Son of a-! Run!" Mike and Steve ran full steam away from the horde. Steve fired a few rounds towards their direction. Mike looked back to see the shuffling horrors far behind them, very slowly. Mike and Steve's pace dropped when they realized that zombies can't move fast at all. 
       "Well that was gay." Mike stated the obvious and carelessly tossed the assault rifle behind him. 
       "Pfft, yeah. Frickin' zombies." Steve agreed. They walked down the road a short distance and arrived at the grocery store. At the entrance of the store a mummy stood up and approached them. Steve pushed him away and into a wall.
       "This ain't your tomb, faggot."
       "I was just gonna ask if you had any change." 
       "Dude, Steve, he just wants some change. Sorry bro, all I got is plastic." Mike shrugged his shoulders and followed Steve into the store. 
       "Kay, what do we need? Milk, I know we're out of pastrami."
       "Milk, pastrami, bread, mayonnaise? Yeah, mayonnaise, we got tomatoes and provolone...bacon and eggs! We need good breakfast stuff." 
       "Cool, we got a cart, let's us go." Mike brushed off a hand that was holding onto the cart handle, stepped on it when it hit the ground, and went his way. 
       When the cart was carrying two loaves of bread, mayonnaise, a few packs of bacon, a couple cartons of eggs, they came to the butcher for their beloved pastrami. The butcher held a bloody machete in one massive hand and stood hunched over the the display. 
       "Yeah man, I want a pound of sliced pastrami, please." Steve ordered. The butcher grunted and did nothing more than maintain his stone-faced stare. 
       "Dude, just a pound of pastrami, that stuff, right there." Steve pointed to a block of brined beef. The butcher's eyes moved to the pastrami Steve indicated. The butcher's eyes seemed to have glazed over. 
       "Dude! Pastrami! Slice it! Comprende!?" Mike was losing his patience, especially on an empty stomach that hadn't any breakfast. A small, gaunt, old man came from around the corner in the back of the butchery and corrected the large machete wielder.
       "Do as they ask, Monte." The behemoth then took the block of pastrami, applied it to the meat slicer, wrapped up a pound of thinly sliced pastrami, and handed it to Steve with with a smile that returned to a Stoney grimace as soon as it was taken. Mike and Steve walked away from the butcher and towards the dairy, passing some frozen good on the way.
       "Dude! Cookie dough is on sale!" Mike put one roll in the cart then had his hand on another.
       "Man, we already got two and a half in the freezer." Steve objected.
       "Yeah, and I wanna eat the rest of the half tonight for retarded movie night. That leaves one for a whole week."
       "One is totally enough."
       "You burn through one a week by yourself playing Call of Duty." Steve silently picked up two rolls which went into the cart, his way of admitting defeat. Mike and Steve obtained two gallons of milk without problem then came to the registers. 
       "Self-check-out bro, freakin' vampresses always hit on everyone." Steve suggested. 
       "Dude, they're such babes. C'mon they're all talk." 
       "Seriously? Dude, their hickeys kill."
       "I'm screwin' with ya, chillax...great, some old, psycho witch is takin' her sweet time." 
       "Care to part with your milk?" The witch asked with her eyes fixed on the sole reason the boys came to the store. 
       "Lady, that's why we came here. It's three bucks a jug, not that hard to get your own." Mike was not even going to try to play nice about bartering with his precious whole milk. 
       "It'd be a shame if two boy came in here, but came out as rats." Mike was not in the mood and took a water bottle from the mini-fridge near the register. 
       "Be a shame if your face was uglier than it already is, old hag." Mike then lobbed the opened water bottle into the warted nose of the witch. She threw her head back while screaming in agony, then threw the water bottle back at him. The witch cackled with a menacing grin until a whole formed in her chest and quickly released blood. Steve held the pistol in his hand once again.
       "You seriously think The Wizard of Oz had anything right? Or that I wasted all my shots on the zombies?...tsk tsk tsk."
       "Quit hatin' you would have tried the same...kay, maybe not. Let's just get our crap and go." Mike paid for everything in the cart and they stepped out of the store. The parking lot was full of the same undead fiends they saw earlier.
       "Frickin' zombies! Seriously!?" Steve had became very annoyed with the living dead nuisances. "Any bright ideas, Mike?"
       "No guns?"
       "Do you see any? NO!"
       "like smoke and fire my eye, moron."
       "Shut up! Not the time, turkmeat!" 
       "I got it."
       "Okay well? Ya just gonna stand there!?"
       "I dibs all the pastrami if we do it."
       "C'mon, this really ain't the time!"
       "You called me turkmeat."
       "Alright fine! You're not a turkmeat."
       "......and?"
       "And what!?"
       "Strami."
       "Whatever! It's yours!"
       "Get in the cart." 
       "What!?"
       "Nike it up, two percent!"
       "I ain't no two percent ya freakin' psycho." Steve muttered under his breath as he sat down in the cart. Mike sprinted with the cart full speed into a pocket where the undead weren't as dense. Mike used e weighted cart as a shield and weapon to brush off any corpses in front of him. 
       "You are the stupidest kid who ever lived, Mikey!"
       "You never remember that they move slow!"
       "Oh! Who bolted it from 'em first huh?"
       "Can it, two percent! We're almost out!" Slamming one more zombie off balance was the last step to freedom from the horde. Now they are only a four mile an hour pace away from keeping good distance from the gouls. 
       "Frickin' zombies...they suck!" Steve shook with adrenaline as he hopped out of the cart. 
       "Look what ya did, moron, ya just had to sit on the eggs!" 
       "Hmmm I dunno, life or busted eggs? That's a tough one!"
       "Ever thought to hold 'em?"
       "Oh everybody thinks clearly when there's frickin' zombies in your face."
       "This is why you're two percent milk, Steve-o." Mike told him as he pulled the cart through the door to the house. They unloaded the groceries and were glad to find that only the eggs were damaged in the mayhem. Mike took to making a toasted pastrami sandwich. It was now too late in the day for a simple bowl of cereal. He opened the refrigerator for something to wash it down with.
       "Dude, where's the Dr. Pepper?"

Trying- Tales of Jacob Moran

     Jake looked into the sky as he walked along the street with a newly-purchased deli sandwiches in hand. He saw clouds beginning to roll in. The sight excited him. He checked the weather reports on his phone. Today was supposed to be overcast over the northern portion of the state for a great deal of the day. Jake called Thomas as he walked faster back to the apartment feeling pumped.
     "What's up, Lovechunk?" Thomas answered.
     "I told ya not to call me that anymore, Sweetheart." Jacob responded and carried the joke on.
     "Whatever you say, Babe." Thomas compromised.
     "Dude, have you seen the sky?"
     "Uhhh...there's some clouds out the window."
     "Yeah! And it's supposed to be overcast all day! Grab Alice and let's go on a hike in the canyon."
     "I thought you said you were givIn' it a rest for a while."
     "I don't know, I just feel it right now! I'm givin' it another shot."
     "Alright, you got me that pastrami?"
     "Yeah, I'm like at the bottom of the stairs. I wanna go as soon as Alice can dig her keys outta her purse." Jacob climbed the stairs in record time. As soon as he got in the apartment he threw Thomas's sandwich at him and started filling a backpack with water bottles and energy bars.
     "Alice! Got your keys!?" Jacob yelled as he zipped up the backpack.
     "Why are you in such a hurry?" Alice's voice came from the bathroom. Jacob hurried over to see her using a straightener on her hair.
     "Seriously!? We're going on a hike!" Jake pulled a bandana from off the counter and began stuffing her hair into it while tying it in a knot "C'mon, it's you, Thomas, and me. Who are you trying to impress?"
     "What are you!? Jacob! Have you ever seen a girl with her hair remotely like that!?" Alice slapped his hands away only seconds after they began troubling her hair. "What are so excited about anyway!?"
     "I feel it this time! It's gonna work this time!" Jacob said with fists clenched from his pent up joy. "Now c'mon! You can take care of your hair in the car, I'll drive." Jacob said this as he was digging through her purse.
     "You know how many times you said it was gonna work before?" Alice questioned
     "Thirty-seven. Got the keys! Tommy! Backpack! Yippee-ki-yi-yay!" Jake shouted as he started out the door.
     Jake drove the car faster than other drivers on the road appreciated. They went a ways up the canyon until they came to the trailhead. Jacob lead the way the entire time they were hiking. Alice and Thomas stopped him on occasion to get a water bottle or energy bar out. Jake knew they would stop him often enough that he could refresh himself when they summoned him to halt. Thomas and Alice were once again arguing over something of no consequence.
     "C'mon, think about it. Thunder-twisting, that's just the coolest name you could give it." Thomas attempted to make Alice see his point of view of making something sound cool.
     "But it hardly has anything to do with the lightning, it's about the metal. I don't even twist the metal, it's a pull if anything." Alice argued towards what was most correct, as she always did.
     "Yeah, yeah I've heard it all the time already, metal has a sea of electrons, the lightning takes control, blah blah blah. Here's the other thing, how much easier would it be to give it a name rather than having to say shape that piece of steel with lightning? See what I mean?"
     "If want to give it a name so badly then think of a name that actually describes what is done. Anyway, you don't even understand what happens so-"
     "Hey! Lookit the clouds! They're right here!" Jacob interrupted them to alice's relief.
     "Kay, jus' don't try climbing on 'em ya psycho. Neither of us can catch you when ya fall." Thomas answered.
     "Like I could! Heck, I'll be happy to trip over some as long I know I did something." Jacob replied. Then he suddenly felt that familiar anxiety again. "...you comin'?" Jake asked as he faced Thomas and Alice.
     "C'mon, you know you gotta do it alone the first time. You don't want me up there to screw up the reaction, and he doesn't know how these work at all so he's staying away for this one." Alice answered. "You'll make it happen this time."
     "You got it bro!" Thomas's short words were almost always more effective than any speech. Jacob walked into the clouds where the peak was.
     Jake took some breaths and rolled his shoulders to relax. Every time he tried it still felt like he was reaching into thin air. Reaching into thin air actually wasn't far off from what he was attempting. Jacob's goal was to reach into thin air, then take a hold of it. He didn't feel any energy of any sort coming from the clouds. He only felt the familiar depressing feeling of no guidance while he is about to feel like a fool as he attempts to command the clouds. Jacob exhaled and closed his eyes. He reached his hand out into the the fog feeling nothing. He concentrated and put all his will into condensing the clouds into his palm. He could nearly feel it and slowly curled his fingers to grip the what would soon be there. With all his will and might he knew it was going to happen. His fingers met his palm and he dropped his arm limp to his side at the wasted effort.
     "It's all good, round two." He said quietly to himself to keep his spirits up. A different approach this time. Clearing the fog was his goal. It was going to be thin and then part. He focused his vision on a line he drew with his mind before him. He lifted his hands to meet the line. He thought of his hands sinking into the thin mass ahead of him. They pressed forward and he flexed his arms and hands with the effort. With all his strength he pressed the imaginary line apart to part the fog. He slowly widened his hands and arms to pull it apart. Pressing with his might his arms widened. But nothing changed. The clouds continued to gently roll along the mountain peak.
     "Third time's the charm, third time." He said out loud with a hope to make this last attempt work. He watched the clouds roll along. He oriented himself to face the oncoming clouds. He knew they would yield to him, they had to. As they came to roll his way he lifted his hands up to his shoulders. A wall, they were going to meet a wall. He was the wall. He exhaled again and closed his eyes. He clenched his hands and released. He slowly pressed his hands forward. They felt a slight resistance. He flexed and pressed harder. They wouldn't move. He pushed harder still. He hands wouldn't budge.
     "Son of a-!" He yelled and opened his eyes to see his hands pressing into a perfectly white mass. "Wow." Jacob was impressed. He glided his hands across the mass. It was smooth. He never knew of anything that smooth. He pulled a hand back and punched into the wall. It softly stopped his fist and sprung back to the shape it first was. As he was marveling at what he had finally accomplished he began to feel what Alice and Thomas told him he would feel, especially when he first made it happen. He suddenly felt drained of strength and energy. He felt so drained that he lost his balance and fell against the wall made of a cloud. The cloud gave way and he was on his knees.
     "Tommy!...Alice!" he shouted for them to come where he was. They came to him and looked at him with glad awe.
     "Ya did it!?" Thomas asked with a confident smile.
     "Yeah..." Jacob answered breathing deeply.
     "How do ya feel!?" Alice asked as she was bouncing on her feet with joy.
     "Like crap...haha...wooo! That, that hits hard." Jacob answered.
     "Yeah, first time sucks bad. Feel alright to get up?" Thomas asked as he put out his hand to lift him. Jake took the hand and staggered to his feet, with some trouble balancing.
     "Maybe...maybe just over somewhere...somewhere to sit down for a while." Jacob told Thomas said with one hand on his head.
     "Haha sure, hey ya did it! That's worth somethin'." Thomas replied as they walked to a spot where there was a fallen tree to sit down on out of the fog. Alice watched as a this trail of the cloud pealed off of Jacob's feet. She smiled and thought to herself "I knew he could do it."

Rainy Nightmare

     As I jumped down from the fence I came down to my knees which sank into the mud a little. I got up and looked towards Annie and moved my hand to beckon her down.
     "Keep on your feet when you get down, it's slippery." She descended and her feet slipped as they met the ground. Out arms met and gripped one another for stability. 
     "Alright, gotta keep on goin'." I told her as I looked ahead and was glad to see there was some lighting to get us through the darkness along the side of the building. We walked down trying to stay quiet as to not be heard and to listen for anyone else. We went inside the first opening into one of the warehouses we could find. After climbing through the window, we found ourselves in a small room with a desk in the middle. Light was coming from somewhere past the doorway of the room.
     I whispered to Annie that I would take a look to see who was there, but wouldn't walk away. She agreed and sat down in a corner. I put my head past the doorframe and looked around to see a single hispanic thug sitting in a chair and looking around, somewhat bored. He looked at me and I froze. He squinted down the hallway. 
     "Hey! Don't move!" he shouted as he raised a pistol and walked toward me. I let one foot out the room and put my open hands where he could see I was unarmed. I looked at Annie who's face bore fear as she stared at me.
     "Who's with you!?" The man demanded as he pushed me into the room with his unarmed hand. 
     "Just me." Annie spoke up as she stood up in fear. Both of us had the idea not to cause any more trouble than was already going on. All we wanted was to get out of here. He studied both of us for a moment then put the gun to his side. 
     "Alright, follow me." he told us as he walked back towards where the light come from. We followed him past where he was sitting and over to where most of his gang was. The gang members spoke to each other in spanish. They gestured towards us and outside the building occasionally. I leaned up against a stack of wooden boxes near the loading bay door. 
    The steel retractable door banged and rattled when something from the other side struck it. Annie and I hid behind the boxes for cover. I saw the gangsters raise their guns and one of them pressed a button to partially raise the door. They all opened fire. All I heard was gunfire and shouting. It all stopped suddenly, but the gang members kept their guns trained on what they were firing at for some time. One of them spoke to another in spanish. Two went to investigate what they were shooting at. The same one who first found us came over and took me by the wrist and walked me to the rest of the group, Annie followed. I glanced at what the other two were doing and saw them dragging a black furred creature by the hind legs. The one who pulled me over turned my arms over to look at them and showed them to the others. Then did the same to Annie. He pointed at a dull mark on her inner right forearm and spoke to the others of the group in spanish. They looked at the mark with wide eyes.
     "You gotta keep goin'. You need to get there." The one who exposed Annie's mark told us. "You want this." He told me as he put his pistol into my hand. Another surrendered his pistol to Annie, who thanked him. 
     "Thanks, we'll be going." I told them. They wished us luck, then regrouped to investigate the thing that was now dead. We left out a door opposite the door where the firefight broke out. The rain was letting up. We walked up to a grassy field to the side of the warehouses. The moonlight let us see that we could keep on this grassy area rather than the mud. We liked the ability of being able to see around us more than the lack of mud, so we preferred it for two reasons. We kept walking in the fields for a couple hours until we came by an old farmhouse by an old road. We saw a light inside that seemed to flicker when we saw it from a distance. 
     When we came closer we saw that there was a lantern on a table and a person moving around inside. The person inside cast his shadow on the window as he past. He didn't seem right. We stood and watched for some time. The man was shivering, scratching himself, and twitching. 
     "let's keep going." I urged Annie as I stepped onward. She hesitated, intrigued by the man in the shack. A loud noise came from the man in the shack. It made us shudder. It wasn't a yelp, howl, growl, screech, or anything one would expect. If anything it was like a raspy and threatening belch. We darted away then stopped at the sound of breaking glass. The man, or what was the man, was hanging out the window on it's torso. It's dark face was looking at us with bared teeth. We raised our gifted pistols and opened fire. I fired out of fear until the rounds were spent. Then ran before knowing if the beast was living or not. Annie was sprinting at my side. She slipped on the wet grass. 
     "No!" I yelled out in fear as I went down to lift her up. 
     "Sorry, I'm okay, let's keep going!" she told me between hurried breaths. I looked back and saw the old house in the distance with the thing still hanging out the window, it was limp. 
     "Look, it's not going to chase us. We're okay." I told her and pointed at the shack. 
     "I wanna get out of here!" Annie whimpered and I took her in my arm and walked through the field. She shivered with anxiety from everything that was happening.
     "We're going to make it out of here. I know it." I told her. I told myself "We have to." Both of us kept going on in the field. It seemed longer and farther. I wondered if this nightmare would end. Would we escape? Can we keep going? 

Beginning - Tales of Jacob Moran

    Everything was black. The blackness rustled and opened into a clouded night sky. Jake laid looking up when a strangely familiar face leaned over and took him by the hand and lifted him up. Jacob stumbled out of the box he was standing in and onto snowy ground. That man with a familiar face steadied him as he had trouble standing. Jacob looked around and found himself in a snowy field of sorts. Trees were planted here and there, the ground was not even. He felt terrible, like he hadn't gotten about for years. He suddenly felt extremely nauseous. He leaned over and gagged up terrible tasting fluids. The familiar face held him back up and put a coat around him. The man, still steadying Jacob, spoke to three others. He couldn't really make out any of the words. He saw the familiar face pointing at the long box. He guessed they were being instructed to deal with it in some fashion. Jacob really didn't care in his dazed and exhausted state. The familiar face turned to him.
    "Alright, we gotta get goin'. My name's Thomas, by the way."
    "Ok." Jacob looked him in the face and replied automatically. They walked towards a car sitting still with the engine running on a road in the field. Jacob wrapped his arms tightly around himself in the cold air as snow fell on him, softly but steadily. As Jacob sat down into the passenger seat he heard familiar music playing, music he knew well but that wasn't known well to most. Thomas drove off looking around cautiously. Jake sat back staring blankly out the windshield. It was then Jacob smelled something odd. He leaned his head over to learn it was himself. He really didn't care what was happening at the moment. Nothing felt real to him in his confused state.
   "Sorry we got off so quickly...you probably got a lot of questions running through your head. We got a good drive if ya wanna talk." Thomas told Jacob in a somewhat nervous tone as he was still looking around himself. 
    "No, no...I'm...really tired. Is it cool if I just go to sleep for a bit?" Jacob replied with his mind still in a fog.
    "Yeah! Sure...know yourself out." Thomas answered seeming to calm down a bit. Jake laid the seat back and fell into a dream nearly immediately. 
    He dreamt of walking down the street where he lived. It was a rainy night. He was following a dog that was wandering away. He called out to the german shepherd. 
    "Fritz! C'mere Fritz!" Fritz looked back with a playful look but kept going forward, but at a slower pace. Jake caught up to the dog and took hold of the collar. Fritz yielded to him happily. They began to walk back to Fritz's home. A distant sound of thunder made the dog shudder. 
    "It's alright, Fritzy, let's go." Jacob encouraged Fritz. They walked on. The rain didn't bother Jake, he liked a good storm, the lightning added to the good atmosphere. Fritz kept going along, he was more nervous than usual.
    "Fritz is a good boy, yes he's a good boy." Jake reassured the dog as he stroked its back. They began to cross the road when there was a loud thunderclap preceded by a lightning flash by less than a second. Fritz started to whimper and panic and sat down, resisting Jacob's pull in his collar. 
    "C'mon, Fritzy, it's ok." Jake continued to pull. Fritz resisted only harder and whimpered louder.
    "Fritz, you wuss, c'mon you're house is right there!" Jake rolled his eyes as the nervous dog dog resisted what was good for him. Fritz's whimper came to yelping, peaked with a bark.
    "Everytime! You stupid animal, this is your home!" Jacob pointed out towards a house with one hand. Fritz tugged hard and loosed himself of Jake's other hand. Jake fell onto his backside. There was a flash of headlights, his surroundings spun, a white flash flooded his vision.
    A bump in the road brought Jacob out of his sleep. He put the seat upright and looked out the window. They were in a parking lot. The car came to a stall and stopped. Thomas got out of the car and Jake followed suit. Jake stumbled and clutched onto the door for support as he remembered that he was having trouble moving and standing for some reason. Thomas came over to steady him again.
    "Doin' alright?" Thomas asked.
    "Good enough, I guess." Jake responded. They walked up a set of stairs and into an apartment. The walk brought Jake out of his daze a little and he Attempted to walk alone. He was successful, but slow. His senses then reminded him of the stench he carried for some reason, which he recoiled at.
    "Bathroom's that door, if ya want" Thomas informed him.
    "Right." Jacob answered as he went into it.
    He looked into mirror to see someone who looked like a mess. The reflection had matted hair and an unkept beard. He was also wearing stained and wrinkled formal clothes. Jacob took to removing them quickly as he found out they carried most the stench.
    "There's some clothes on the counter there for ya." Thomas's muffled voice came through the door as Jake looked over to see street clothes of the style he preferred. He didn't quite know what to make of everything, but it all felt like a dream anyway, so nothing seemed to matter. The warm water relaxed his stiff and sore body. Scrubbing himself down felt like a massage. He began to wake up as the moisture surrounded him and warmth brought vigor to his frame. Examining his frame, he found that it wasn't quite the same began stepped out of the shower and to the sink. He saw that was more physically fit, not that he was in bad shape before, but now his body was defined. He dried himself off and put the towel around his waist and began to marvel at things now. His face, he couldn't quite point out what was odd about it, besides that it needed a shave, so he did. Looking at his face again he saw his hair had grown out. He pulled it back and what he saw hit him hard. The face looking back at him was not only his own but also the face that belonged to Thomas. 
    Jacob swung open the door and looked at Thomas, who looked back, as he sat at the couch with a laptop, and a bag of fast food at the table in front of him. Jacob pointed at Thomas with his mouth agape and said
    "......WHAT!?"

Awakening - Tales of Jacob Moran

 Jacob awoke in a foreign room, in a foreign medical bed. His clouded mind wondered how long he had been under an artificial coma. He stretched his limbs and immediately recoiled at the pain of doing so. The pain reminded him that it was reality and not a dream where he was tactically neutralized by a prototype that would only exist by illegal means. He lifted his left arm to examine a gunshot wound where a round drove itself between his middle and trigger fingers within his palm. He was amazed at how accurate the device was. He had no doubt the wounds in his thighs broke both femurs.  
 "Oh! I didn't expect you to be awake this soon."
 Jake turned his head to the sound of the voice and saw a young, intelligent looking girl with black hair and pale skin deactivating a holo-pad. Still dazed, he simply studied her as well as the very comfortable, almost homelike room he found himself in. He noticed that although he was on a medical bed, the room he was in resembled a fine living module. 
 "Well, um, welcome to Phoenix Medical Pacific. My name is Aimee and will be your assistant during your time here. On you personal display you can follow a tour of-"
 "Hold on...Aimee...I've been...what is the date?"
 "Uh, February third, two thousand ninety three...why do you ask?"
 Jacob thought for a moment, moving the fingers on his left hand as he counted.
 "I have been unconscious for almost a week...except for...nevermind. Aimee, I am still under a huge amount of drugs. I'd really like to have a couple hours before we get to what you're supposed to tell me about this."
 "Yes that's fine! I'm still working on a lot of data, you're really something else."
 "Something else is right! "Jacob thought to himself. "They really have no idea what they're dealing with." Jacob retraced his last moments of consciousness to himself in his mind. "The sewing needle, that shouldn't have existed, that neutralized me, killed all the other members of the team except...Thomas! That's right! There was a white flash and there was Tommy running then...it went black. After that...the interrogation. Stupid prick thought I was a product of Phoenix. We 'shook hands' and now...they are gonna try to figure me out and fail miserably for years until...oh great! Now I don't know who knows who, what, and where I am! There's gonna be assassination attempts sooner than I'd like."
 Jake looked over towards Aimee. She looked very busy processing information. Jacob definitely is more than a handful to work with. Jake took to the personal holo-pad mounted to the bed he was on. It was programmed for patients and was therefore rather limited. Internet access, Phoenix Medical Pacific, Rising up stronger, media, information. Curiosity lead Jacob to "Rising up stronger." It was his "roadmap to recovery." Jacob then remembered that Phoenix's slogan was "Rise up stronger." Jake examined the medical report. Just as he suspected, three gunshot wounds. One to his hand, and the other two broke his thigh bones. Jacob cursed the abilities of the amazing "sewing needle" which is solely developed and is only supposed to be property of NGMC. 
 "Aimee, there aren't any estimated recovery times for the gunshot wounds, did I just arrive here?"
 "Well, no, you've been here for about three days while we've been running tests and normally we would have a recovery time, but your body isn't like anything anyone has ever seen, so we really don't know. All we do know is that you will recover as least twice as fast as any regular human."
 "Not surprised, so once I can walk will I have the freedom of going out to the island?" 
 "We're still deciding on how to work out keeping you secret, but also able to live a little, sorry about that." 
 "Still not surprised, so what's the plan? Do fluid and tissue sample testing 'til I can run, then comes performance testing, as well as analyzing everything 'til you all give up?" 
 "You're big news to medical science, but not impossible, everything is possible, and yes, we look forward to performance testing. I really wish you weren't shot...there isn't any chance you can tell me why, is there?"
 "Haha! Ow!" Jake flinched as his laughing tripped the nerves of his legs. "C'mon now they didn't tell you? I mean it's obvious that this is all a top secret project, and the jerk who interrogated me already told me I don't exist, c'mon you know that much don't you?"
 "I was told that you were a specimen to be researched. You were delivered by Phoenix Combat. I am part of the research team and at this point will be the only one you have contact with. All I know about you is that you're something entirely new to medical science and our job is to unlock the secrets in your strange DNA. I really don't know where you came from."
 "Huh, well there hasn't been anyone who popped in saying you can't know, especially since I don't exist. I am a soldier for NGMC. Lambda thirteen was the team that was on a information retrieval mission in a research base in Antarctica belonging to Phoenix. We Secured what we needed and there wasn't any signal of power in the entire facility. On our way out a ceiling mounted sewing needle popped open and fired as they are programmed. I was neutralized for information retrieval and the rest of the team was killed by headshots. There was an electrical discharge and that's the last thing I remember until finding myself in custody of Phoenix Combat. That sewing needle wasn't normal...the only thing that makes sense is if it was  also powered by biomechanics like other Phoenix Robotics products. Which was also illegal!...anyway I just said way too much. So what makes me so puzzling to the medical world?" 
 "Hold on! You're a soldier!? For NGMC!? Do you have any idea what kind of risk you're taking being a hired gun with the impossible body you have!? You're taking all that for granted!? You!...what is wrong with you!?"
 "I'm perfectly fine, and I don't need the lecture. Now the question I asked was what makes me so puzzling to the medical world?"
 "You're...a beautiful freak, to put it simply. After getting only a handful of results back a lot of things didn't add up. We tested to see how old you are but I don't know if that answered more questions than it raised. All the results say you're almost eighty years old but that's-"
 "Pretty close."

The Man Who Ate Dog Treats.

I came to Santa Barbara at night to an apartment which possessed a certain level of chaos. I learned I would be with an odd bunch of persons. My roommate whom I would share a bedroom with was an Aryan man from Texas with a strong build. Another was from Brazil, but his blood was Egyptian and Greek, he also spoke loudly and obnoxiously with an accent nobody could recognize. I was very glad to see Mr. Allphin whom was a great comrade of mine in Lake Isabella. Then as I walked out the bathroom I saw a young man who was sitting on my bed beside my open luggage. He had a handful of dog biscuits and was masticating at least one in his mouth. The strong Texan encouraged the behavior and asked for a review of all the varieties, he obliged with pleasure. Shortly thereafter, the man who ate dog treats left the building with Mr. Allphin to their own living space. I couldn't possibly think of a stranger person than he.
Time went on as well as my relations to the man who ate dog treats. There were times his nonsense drove me to violence as I projected a library key between his eyes and left a bruise for days. Still, the man who ate dog treats puzzled me. His demeanor was unique, even impressive. I spent time with him walking the streets of Santa Barbara along with a Canadian friend of his who once worked as a carpenter. Perhaps the strain of insanity that the man who ate dog treats was infectious. I saw myself introducing him to "Punching Trees" which were named so because of their cushioning bark made them excellent punching apparatuses.
Later I left to Simi Valley. The man who ate dog treats did not escape me. No, we spent times now and again walking those streets, I attended meetings he conducted when the occasion permitted, he stayed at my own apartment at certain times. The insanity never ended, mind you. He was elated to show me the wonder of bacon-scented soap, but saddened that the scent did not hold to the body. I carried a GPS with me that would moo like a cow whenever I passed a church or school, he approved with a smile. We both imitated the barking of dogs while in the car.
We parted ways. Duty and fate separated a friendship. Later, in my hometown in Utah I was married. I was glad to see the man who ate dog treats attend my reception. I introduced him to my wife as "bacon-soap kid." He told me that he left a gift for me and my wife. Of course, a pair of milkbones.